It's time for another....Back & Forth Story™!!
This one is a doozy - a FOUR way. It was written between Jeff, Dave, Megan and I.

And it goes without saying - but it's very, VERY silly.

(Notice how Jeff and Megan drop out towards the end.)

There's also some minor naughty and/or disgusting parts.
Faint of heart - please click here.

 

It was freezing outside, cold enough that he had to wipe the steam from the inside of the car window just to see. Stupid defroster not working again. The streets were covered in black ice, making driving interesting. Jake noticed that most people must have been smarter than he and stayed home. Traffic was much lighter than usual. In the past 8 miles, he had passed two cars that had swerved off the road. No time to stop and help, though. He had to make his appointment. He would be late as it is. He nervously glanced at the time and to the container in the passenger seat. He had to get there soon before…

 

the container gets too warm. Just the thought of what that meant made him shudder. Or the thought of any thing leaking out of it and onto his nice lime-green upholstery. Looking down at his dash, he noticed the fuel gage was hovering around empty. "Damn. I wish I had filled the tank yesterday when I had more time. I think I will have just enough gas to get there. It’ll be OK. I’ll just coast into the parking lot on fumes."

He turned on the radio to clear his mind, but of course every station is playing commercials at the same time. Scan. Scan. Scan. Ah ha!

 

SKA!. “Man, you just don’t find stations like this anymore”, he thought to himself. He began humming to himself, which shortly became bouncing, and then fully singing along.
“A floop scoop doopy, la la la groopy. Only two miles to the labby. Gonna scrap my scabby.”
It then he was aware of the sickeningly sweet cinnamon smell.
“Hey. That smells like the bio-incubation lab." He glanced over to the magnetically sealed weapons grade bio-containment canister next to him.
He froze. The container was open. Sheer stark terror screamed through his body. He opened the door of the moving vehicle and rolled out. The cold, hard concrete greeted him in mutual joy before he felt himself being dragged back into the car.
He screamed as only those encountering gut wrenching horror can. Blood spewed throughout the interior of his green Vega. The car swerved out of control and careened over a curb and started to roll. Gas fueled flame engulfed the vehicle as it tumbled across the parking lot and finally exploded showering the area with burning glass and metal.
Jake's last thoughts as he tried to claw his way out of the incinerator that was his Vega: “If this gets loose, I'm glad I'm dead now.” Again horror filled his eyes as he noticed which parking lot he was in…
“Oh, God. Not the Little Binky Day Care! NOOOoooo!”

 

"Duck…..duck….duck…..GOOSE!" Timmy Johnson tapped Susie Young on the head and scampered around the circle of toddlers. Susie jumped up in time to see the Green Vega explode in the parking lot, and barely had time to turn around before the explosion turned the windows into a cloud of shards whistling through the air. The children screamed as the glass needles punctured their tender child flesh. Miss Grubner was on the toilet when she heard the explosion. "The children!" She jumped up and ran to the room and froze in the doorway at the nightmare before her. A green ooze was quickly expanding through the gaping window and was undulating towards the bleeding horrified children. It pulsated as it quickly engulfed one after another. Miss Grubner ran down the hallway away, away from the madness.

She didn't get far.

Meanwhile, three thousand miles above the Earth, a crack squad of Zorbian marines were assembling in the landing bay of a Grundigon Class A Cruiser. "Do you have any idea what we are up against here, marines?" Shouted Sgt Torfelsork. "The bane of the Galaxy! These back-water Earthlings have no idea that they are not alone in space, but we have to go down there and mop up!" "Sir?" A hand was meekly raised in the back. "Is it true that this creature is…

nuclear?” Silence engulfed them all as the reality settled in their minds. Sgt Torfelsork barely nodded. “Have heart, men. We have been following the trail of this creature for sometime, and now we have found it. You know your jobs. You know what to do. You have been trained for this. These earthlings don’t have a clue as to what they have found."

“We interrupt this broadcast for this breaking news.” Jeanne looked up at the screen, disrupted from the drone of the Ricky Lake audience. It provided good background noise while she worked the lab. “An explosion at Little Binky DayCare has a town running for cover. It is believed at this time it was a chemical explosion, as a strange substance has been found. This substance was found throughout the school and children, which must have died in the explosion. This story is still breaking, we will bring you more coverage as things develop.” Jeanne took a deep breath, waiting for the call she knew would come.

The phone rang. “CDC, Jeanne here…

 

“Hello, This is Fire Chief Buckman. I’m calling from Appleton, Indiana; just outside of Fort Wayne. We have a level 4 HAZMAT situation involving an undetermined substance. We have closed off the immediate area and are monitoring emissions from a distance. The substance has properties unlike typical chemical spills.”

Jeanne taking notes says, “Uh-huh, Could you tell me the source of the substance?”

“We don’t know. It appears to be oozing out of a school building. The stuff smells really bad, like road-kill mixed with Big-Red gum! Some of it got on one of our pieces of equipment and it removed the paint and fried the wiring. What ever this stuff is it is really… Argfhgulfaaaaa!!!!!!!!! Fire Chief Buckman dropped the phone as he felt this tremendous pressure inside of his head. Green ooze shot from the fire chief’s eye sockets as his body hit the ground. “Holy Smoogels!” shouted Captain Haas, “Everyone get away from the truck!”

The smell of ozone was in the air accompanied by the crackle of electricity as the power lines were being engulfed by a large green mass. Which then fell onto the fire truck causing blue flashes of light and a series of loud pops. The firemen ran not noticing….

 

their legs were sheared clean off by shrapnel. They writhed on their backs as the little nubs flailed wildly.

Their screams echoed tinny over the phone. Jeanne hardly noticed as she was finishing her Minesweeper game.

“I’ll have to get back to you, Chief. I will call a colleague for help on this one”.

She hesitated, then dialed a long forgotten number.

The raspy bourbon tainted voice answered.

“Yeah. Hello….”

 

"Hello, Ted?"
"Yeah. Zat you Jeanne?"
"Yeah."
"What's up, Jeanne?"
"I'm running up a really great score in Minesweeper!"
"Cool. Any other reason you called me after two years of silence?"
"Oh! I almost forgot. Remember that alien ship crash site from '98?" Jeanne was frantically clicking the whole time.
"Yeah. The one with the goo?"
"Yeah. Guess what happened?"
"The goo got loose. Oh great giraffes in a chicken basket. That's bad Jeanne. That's REAL bad."
Just then Ted's door was thrown off of it's hinges. "Oh no! NOOOOOOooooooooo!" The green ooze moved past Ted towards the Nuclear Omni Tronic Laser Activated Motion Expander. "No! Who knows what will happen if it touches the NOTLAME!"

"Squad! Prepare for subspace transmittal!" Sgt Torfelsork shouted over the noise of the powering up transmitter. A computer voiced counted down, "3…2…1 Transmit." With a flash of blue light they squad found themselves in a lab where the nuclear ooze was oozing towards the NOTLAME. Ted huddled under the desk and wished he had gone out for lunch. The squad started spraying the ooze with energy and ballistic weapons. The ooze finally wrapped itself around the NOTLAME, just as one of the marines tossed a Fwerp grenade at it. Ted managed to shut his eyes before the explosion. He felt himself falling and falling…

Ted came to in a grassy field. It was dark all around except for some light in the distance. He heard drums in the distance. No – not drums. Gunfire. He walked towards the light until he found…

 

people wearing heavy lead-lined robes and wearing funny green hats. It appears to be some sort of celebration. People are shooting guns into the air. And there is strange gurgling sound coming from a speaker suspended over the street. There are banners everywhere with this strange message, “Glob Knob”. Ted wondered where he was.

Zorbian General Shalk grimly looked at the view plate as Sgt. Torfelsork’s platoon bleeped out of existence from this dimension. “Let’s bring in the BAD’s.” A number of lights appeared on the tactical display. A large group of series looking, muscular aliens loaded up their 100 Google-Watt Klystron Energy Transmitters with five-thousand-cell extended-interaction-output-cavities and their Tri-dimensional-Proton-absorber-grenade-launchers, loaded into their deployment tubes. As the tubes emptied, Blue dots appeared on the screen, which were then followed by expanding red circles.

The twitching, bleeding firemen noticed creepy scaly creatures appearing out of thin air. The firemen all said in unison “Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!”, as their remains flew over the school playground, bouncing off of cars with the detonation of a Zorbian grenade. The green ooze skittered back into the school as it was pelted with a barrage of Klystron blasts.

Ted was busy imagining the beautiful curves underneath the heavy robe on a woman standing near him when…

 

she abruptly turned towards him. Ted tried to look away, but she had caught him checking out her money maker. Or whatever passed for a money maker on these strange people. It was actually her second brain. ANYhoo…Ted looked away but she caught him and smiled. Ted smiled. Then she dropped her robe revealing not two, not three but SEVEN full bountiful breasts. Four in front, two on her back and one just above her left knee. It was a beautiful sight. Ted managed to get out, "Muh hooey doofen glaven…" before she was on top of him, knocking him backwards and smothering him with her advanced alien breast love. "Flob grob hob nob shob glaven.", she said. "Foob magga Lurleen." Ted assumed her name was Lurleen. "Me…name-ob is…TED." When he got out the word "Ted" Lurleen's eyes narrowed and she started to pant heavily. "NEE WONNIE WONGA!!!!!" she shouted to the heavens. Ted was in love. Sexy romantic alien sex love. Lurleen ripped off her undergarments, exposing her thirteen vaginas and her twenty-eight bungholes. Each more tighter than the last one. As Ted soon found out. Wink-wink.

The Zorbian BAD squad had now annihilated their way across the tri-county area. General Shalk had given them the full go ahead for Massive Destruction. Private Johnny O'Flooglahan fingered his rifle nervously. He could see the fire glinting off the clouds on the horizon like a flashlight aimed at a sea of cats.

Cats with their eyelids stapled open.

Johnny caught his breath as he saw…